Out of Order
by nemesisLuVr
Summary: Nemesis is called in by an old friend to help win the court case of the century


Disclaimer: I own no rights in whole or part to anything and everything Resident Evil. Also, I own no rights in whole or part to any court room drama shows. That said, I own all of a nickel. If you want my nickel, Capcom, let me know, otherwise, you'll have to negotiate with my credit card company to get more money from me, as I already owe them.  
  
Out of Order  
  
I.  
  
The trial had been going on for months with no sign of letting up. John MacFadley had been accused of killing thirty five innocent people in a romp through America's heartland. That's right, Rhode Island. MacFadley had pulled up to a convenience store one night and shot the clerk, followed by everyone else in the store. He then worked behind the counter for hours, shooting each person who entered until one person finally escaped him and called the police. Now he had been brought to trial and the evidence was stacked up against him in mounds.  
  
The trial had been going on and on, people were already saying "trial of the century" but we all know that phrase has been used at least three times before in the same hundred year block, so those people saying it were largely viewed as unreliable and insane. The defense had created a simple but effective case: simply put, he didn't do it. Was never near the place, and never would be again. Gun? What gun, he didn't own a gun, nor did he shoot anyone with said fictitious gun.  
  
At any rate, it seemed a miracle was needed to keep MacFadley alive, and his defense council was running out of steam. After all, vehemently refusing all evidence and repeating the words "He did not! He simply did not!" over and over was getting them nowhere. Apparently no one told them that in court, you needed evidence to win a case. Five men screaming "no he didn't!" after every sentence didn't provide the evidence necessary to prove innocence. MacFadley seemed doomed.  
  
II.  
  
"And so in exhibit A, the video tape from the security camera, we can clearly see the defendant shooting that elderly woman and her husband to death. We'd be very interested to hear the defense's explanation of what exactly we're seeing on that video tape," said the prosecuting attorney smugly.  
  
The defense attorney stood up professionally and cleared his throat. It was time to make or break this case before closing arguments, and this one statement had to prove to the jury that his client simply did not do it. "Your honor, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my client simply did not do it. Thank you." With that said, he sat down.  
  
The spectators laughed out loud, the jury buried their faces in shame, and the prosecutor just grinned ear to ear. This was going to be too easy. He just shook his head and smirked at the nearly condemned man before speaking those awful words, "Since we lost the coin toss and you got to go first, and we are at the end of the trial, the prosecution rests."  
  
The judge banged his gavel loudly and officially before announcing that upon the morrow, the court would hear closing arguments and, after the months of garbage, the case would be over. MacFadley hung his head, he was doomed and he knew it. He looked at his attorney anxiously. The attorney just shrugged and looked back at him before speaking in a low voice "don't worry, I've got one more trick up my sleeve."  
  
III.  
  
Nemesis Nemmy McNemesis sat in his recliner at his apartment in Tupelo. His lightsabers sat on the desk across the room, rocket launcher and guns mounted about the room. He ate potato chips, wearing boxers and a stained white tee shirt, while watching Springer. Lesbian Eskimo Nazis with bipolar disorder were funny, and he laughed. Hard. Nemesis stretched and tilted his head, the show was starting to get boring. No blood made things boring for Nemesis. That was when the phone rang.  
  
Nemesis picked up the phone and spoke clearly and politely into the receiver, "S.T.A.R.S.?"  
  
The voice came back over the earpiece muffled and Nemesis nodded, starting to grin, which was not hard given his lack of lips. He turned his head and looked at the law degree from Harvard mounted on his wall, beady black eye glinting evilly. There would be a court case in Rhode Island, and he would be there. Oh yes, he would be there.  
  
IV.  
  
"And in closing, the defense has offered us nothing but 'no he didn't do it' in response to each and every piece of evidence we've offered. The videotape, the gun itself, the signed confessional, all of it was answered with 'he didn't do it' now I ask you fine ladies and gentlemen to find it in your heart to not only punish this man for killed thirty five people, but also for hiring such a blatantly incompetent council. Honestly, it's an insult to the court that he even practices law," the prosecutor spat out his words and sat down smugly, sure that victory was his.  
  
The defense attorney stood, shuffling papers. He looked over the jury, then to his client, then to the prosecutor, and finally to the judge. The attorney flashed a winning smile, organized the paper sin his hands and paused a moment for the camera to catch the hint of seriousness and drama in his eyes, for he was the righteous defender of innocent people that must win the case, for good always triumphs. Ha HA!  
  
He opened his mouth to speak, and.. The door flew off it's hinges, splinters and shards of wood flying in every direction. There was a booming sound of loud angry footsteps as a hulking mass of genetic rage entered the courtroom, fully decked out in a pinstripe three-piece suit, loafers, and a briefcase. The judge stood up, demanding who this intruder was, and what he was doing here. The defense attorney just smiled and indicated Nemesis  
  
"This, your honor, is our surprise co-council, Dr. Nemesis Nemmy McNemesis, Ph.D. in Law from Harvard University, and all-around good guy. He will be giving our closing arguments."  
  
"Fine! Whatever you want! Just be done quickly!"  
  
Nemesis tagged in as he jumped the bar separating the courtroom from the spectators. He approached the jury to give his closing arguments with a twinkle in his eye and a wiggle in his tentacles. Nemesis was here to win the case, that much was apparent. He cleared his throat meaningfully and smiles as much as he could without lips.  
  
"Ladies ung Gentlemen of Jury. I Nemesis! He not do that thing you say he do! I know! I Nemesis!" He bellowed at the top of his lungs, followed by a very polite, "thank you. S.T.A.R.S."  
  
With that, Nemesis sat down and gave the other defense attorney a high five. Things were starting to look up for MacFadley, especially now that Nemesis had given such a sound closing argument.  
  
V.  
  
".and in closing, may we just say that not only do we find John MacFadley guilty of murder in the first degree, and grand larceny, but we also find his 'lawyers' to be criminal in their representation of Mr. MacFadley and pray that someone sees fit to revoke their licenses to practice law anywhere at all. Thank you your honor."  
  
The verdict was in, and Nemesis was not happy. As the guards approached to take MacFadley into custody, Nemesis stood and roared, tentacles ripping through the suit jacket and dress shirt holding them in. He leaped at the officers screaming "Not guilty!" before plunging a tentacle through the head of each officer, firing tentacle and brain chunks out the back of each of their heads. People screamed and ducked for cover as Nemesis roared, magically, a rocket launcher was now in his hand. He fired at the prosecuting attorney, blowing him to kibble, then he bounded for the jury box. They all screamed and tried to run, but the tentacled fury that was Nemesis cut them all down in their prime, leaving nothing but body parts and a bloody jury box.  
  
The judge took off running as Nemesis rounded on him, but the escape was attempted far too late. Nemesis ran at him, catching up quickly. He speared the judge through the chest on a writhing tentacle and then looked around the room at the frightened people covered in blood, cowering in the corner.  
  
"I rule in favor of big party!"  
  
VI.  
  
Nemesis Nemmy McNemesis ate him.  
  
Coming next: Nemesis goes shopping with his mother. 


End file.
